The Moon #2 – Selene


Selene - Goddes of the Moon

Selene – Goddes of the Moon

Hear, Goddes queen, diffusing silver light, Bull-horned and wandering through the gloom of Night. With stars surrounded, and with circuit wide Night’s torch extending, through the heavens your ride: Female and Male with borrowed rays you shine. And now full-orbed, now tending to decline. Mother of ages, fruit-producing Moon, Whose amber orb makes Night’s reflected noon: Lover of horses, splendid, queen of Night, All-seeing power bedecked with starry light. Love of vigilance, the foe of strife, In peace rejoicing, and a prudent life: Fair lamp of Night, its ornament and friend, Who gives to Nature’s works their destined end. Queen of the stars, all-wise Artemis hail! Decked with a graceful robe and shining veil; Come, blessed Goddess, prudent, starry, bright, Come moony-lamp with chaste and splendid light, Shine on these sacred rites with prosperous rays, And pleased accept your suppliant’s mystic praise.

In starting I have to say that this devotional approach to magick (a form of Bhakti Yoga) is really working for me. By looking at life, and things as living beings, by talking to plants, crystals, animals, stars and planets, by animating all of existence, I feel more connected and am able to express my Love for Life in a more personal way. When I developing these personal relationships with all things, they start to talk back and the love I sent is returned.  This way I can explore each and every aspect of my self and my Greater Self, and work with them, so that all things may work together for the honor and glory of the One.

I’m entering into a love affair with the Universe, and honor the oath: To know all things, to love all things.

To conclude: by treating things as being alive, they come alive. And there we have in a nutshell the Great Secret of Animating the Statues of the Gods and Saints, and maybe even the secret of Creating Gods. This great creative power as is first seen in the child who talks to the beloved stuffed animal, and plays with imaginary friends. Then these imaginary friends start to influence your reality (@youtube), they become your guides, they become your Gods. Or maybe the vessels you have created in your imagination become empowered by and channels for macro-cosmic powers. What do I know? I am just at the beginning of my path.

Back to Selene. The ritual was taken from Graeco-Egyptian Magick, which uses spells from the Greek Magical Papyri (PGM) to Invoke an Initiate the current of the Gods of the Planets. In preparation of the ritual I searched for some pictures of Selene and my eye was taken by the picture you see here in this post. I read her the Orphic Hymn of the Moon while anointing my head with Myrrh resin essential oil and chanted AKTIOPHIS, a magical word associated with her.

On the day of the full moon I skipped a meal, transformed my living room into a temple, cleansed myself, and meditated on her image. It began to flicker and move before my eyes, and I felt a deep sexual current rising within. I won’t lie to you, I love sexual energy, especially the tantric kind that flows and rises within and up. I love what sexuality symbolizes, my urge to merge with the beauty that is the world. My consciousness, pure consciousness, Shiva, that wants to merge and meet Shakti: energy, form, sensuality, and all things. Let this Fool marry the World I say! Well, more about that when we meet again in Venus probably 😉

During these preparatory hours before the ritual I felt my reality shift a little, a bit of a psychedelic experience where synchronicity and intuition guide what is happening. For example, just before the ritual I wanted to find a more traditional image of Selene to use as my focus during the ritual. Exactly at that time my internet stopped working. I kept using the picture above.

During the ritual she kept moving and I heard her thoughts in my mind. Her arms turned towards me, inviting me to step into the Mystery with her. And that where exactly the words I heard in my mind. “Embrace the Mystery, I am the doorway into the Mystery”. She also said she would test me and bring fears to the surface that are blocking me from fully stepping into this mystery. She kept true to her word, but that is something for another post.


The Moon #1 – Gabriel



Last month I have focused on the Moon her Energy and her Spirits. I have worked with Gabriel on a Monday during the hour of the moon while the Moon was waxing, and have done a ritual with Selene on the day of the full Moon during a planetary hour of the moon. The exploration with the Moon continues. In this post I will tell you about my experiences with Gabriel.


Gabriel - Archangel of the Moon

Gabriel – Archangel of the Moon

(To conjure Angles I use the ritual that can be found here, and you can get a good little eBook about it here. My setup isn’t as elaborate, but is inspired by Frater Ashens Book).

At this point in my development I experience the spirits while scrying, or image streaming, which is spontaneous and unguided visualization, with either open or closed eyes. Other things I experience are emotional and energetic responses, and a conversation within my own thoughts. Although this is already a great result, especially the energetic and emotional responses, it is not the end point. What I aim for is a clear two way communication.

On to Gabriel. I have conjured Gabriel a few times before the full Moon, which is best done after sunset (the deep dark helps create a mystical mood, and improves scrying).

What I noticed most is that Gabriel puts me in a deep trance state, invites me to drop down into an oceanic awareness, letting go, relaxing, melting. This is something I want to explore more during my Moon attunement period. The trance state is a portal into the mystical realm, just as in Hermetic Philosophy the Moon is the portal into the realms of the seven heavens. The moon is the final funnel through which the higher energies reach us. Psychologically we can look at this as our subconsciousness that filters all our deeper spiritual experiences. By opening up and relaxing, I can become a clearer channel, receive the light of the higher heavens and inspiration, and channel these into manifestation.

Another message I received was to trust. Yes, my first contact is experienced within the realm of the imagination, but this is the place where all magick begins. If you imagine something long enough it becomes an experienced reality. So trust and relax into trance and allow the world of the imaginative to become real.

In the next post I will describe my experiences with Selene and the effects I have noticed in my life following these rituals.

A New Journey Begins- Planetary Initiations

Planets on the Tree of Life

To me, a big part of Magick is about consciously giving life meaning, and about actively participating in the story of life.

So here we go. I have taken an oath to go through the Planetary Initiations. I will progress through the Planetary Spheres in the Chaldean Order, or the order as given in the Qabalistic Tree of Life, starting with the Moon, and going up to Saturn.

Two things drive me: the desire to work and learn from Spirits and the desire for a structure, or a story of initiation. I was greatly inspired by the book Enochian Initiation written by Frater W.I.T. Although I have gotten some good preliminary results with my Enochian Explorations, I want to develop my skills with spirit communication and get to know a less ambivalent system (and spirits) of magick first.

About Spirits. We can question all day long if Spirits are part of our sub-consciousness, or in the case of Angels our super-consciousness, or if  they are independent beings. Whatever the case, the tech can work and bring great change in your life. I do the work as if they: Gods, Spirits, Daimons, are real, but if you ask me what I believe, I have no answer for you. Same goes for everything in life. Is this an illusion? Do we exist, do others exist? We can ponder these questions for ever, and wonderful insights can come from this kind of contemplation. But for now, I choose to just do the work*, and for now adopt the framework of beliefs in which these spirits are real. That is a reality changing act right there.

*(Oh, and actually, in magickal matters, I dislike the word ‘Work’ as in ‘the Great Work’. Let’s call it ‘the Great Joyful Act of Self-Discovery and the Conscious Playful Participation in the Artful Act of Creation‘… or something like that)

I will go through this process mainly by using two type of rituals from two magical currents:

1) I will use the ritual from  ‘Drawing Spirits into Crystals‘ to call down the Angels of the Planets and ask them for guidance and

initiation. Check out the Modern Angelic Grimoire by Frater RO. I also have the book  ‘Gateways through Stone and Circle’, by Frater Ashen. While Frater RO gets you started with a minimum of requirements, Frater Ashen goes all the way, and gets as close to the original grimoires as possible. I walk the middle path: taking Frater Ashens approach as the perfected ideal, but I will start the work with what I’ve got and improve over time. The striving for perfection has the tendency to stop me from doing actual work, so my current strategy is to get started without being lazy, and get better while doing.

One of my first serious attempts at Drawing Spirits into Crystals

2) The other part of my current work is inspired by the Greek Magical Papyri. Source materials are The Book of Abrasax (check out my review here) and Graceo-Egyptian Magick. I will kick off any planetary initiation round with a ritual from Graceo-Egyptian Magick. This means working with the traditional Greek Gods of the Planets, and the awesome mysterious barbarous words of the Magical Papyri: AOTH ABRAOTH BASYM ISAK SABAOTH IAO!

See you in the next post about my experiences with the Moon.

Kenaz the Smith and the Fires of Transformation

I am stumbling. I can hardly walk any more. That nagging voice telling me I took a wrong path was right. I realize it was my intuition calling me back to myself, but I had to press on, forcing myself. I cannot give this up now!

But it is too late. I think I have poisoned myself. I am feverish. It is dark, the sun setting in the west. My skin is burning, and I am covered with blister and boils. My sight is unclear and my mind unhinged. I stumble again. I cannot keep this up, and look for a place to lay down and rest for a while.

There, in the distance, a mound! And a spark of light! I see an opening in the mound and the light of a torch is beckoning me. I press on, and with my last reserves I make it inside where I finally collapse. I try to crawl on, but it is of no use. I am dying, my flesh is old and rotten, stinking of decay.

I can’t… I must… I will… I… I…

I just can’t…

I give up and prepare to sink into oblivion.

From the corner of my eyes I see a short but strong and sturdy man coming towards me, and feel myself being lifted up in strong arms. I smell coal, steel and leather, and I feel safe. I’m being carried to a white hot forge, and gently and lovingly being placed in the heat on the coals. I feel no pain, I am far beyond pain now.

My clothes begin to burn. The purging begins. My old self is being pealed away. The rotten flesh and illusions are being sacrificed. It burns and burns and burns until nothing is left but shining white bone. Only the pure can stay here, only the real, only essence. All else being vaporised by this transformative fire.

I lose consciousness for a moment and find myself in a vision. I have lost everything that I thought I was, and yet I still am. What is this being that I am? I look for myself and find nothing but the illuminating flame of my being. It is sight, it is touch, it is hearing. Yet who, what, where? There is no centre! I am nothing, yet I am everywhere.

The sound of hammering on an anvil draws me out of the vision. The essence of what I am is being pounded back into my bones. Then a new body is being build from that undying essence. I see the face of the Smith absorbed in focus with his work, his art. For a moment he looks at me and smiles, and then continues with his work. I lose consciousness again.

Later I wake up on a simple bed and I find myself in new linen clothes. I see nothing of the stuff I brought with me on my journey, yet my staff is resting there against the wall.

A bit unsure I sit up and walk, a little wobbly, to pick up my staff. My staff, my trusted friend! I turn towards the only door in this room where light of a new day is shining through the cracks. I open it and step into the new dawn. I feel fresh, new, and a bit dazed.

Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? I don’t know. I lost my map. My flesh still feels sore, so new as it is. But a new day is here, and something has happened I cannot yet fully comprehend. We just have to walk and see. I do know one thing. I am alive, and glad to be! Even though a little confused I feel radiant with joy.

I find words etched in flame within my mind, already fading, but leaving behind some of their resonance:

“I begin anew”

And so it is.

A new dawn in spirituality


Just returned from a wonderful few days at the Science and Nonduality Conference in Holland. It was a joy to meet fellow humans who are sometimes also called teachers – Isaac Shapiro, Pamela Wilson, Rupert Spira, Unmani, Karl Renz and Florian Schlosser to name just a few – to sit with them, to laugh and cry with them, to share our perspectives, our quirky languages, our flavours, our songs, in an atmosphere of equality and deep tolerance, to reconfirm that nobody – teacher or student – has the ultimate “answer”, that no teaching is the only teaching, that life is not a question to be answered, or a state or experience or concept to be taught, but a mystery to be lived, a dance to be danced by the only dancer there is. It is becoming clearer and clearer (and yes, yes, ultimately even this is a story) that a new age of spirituality is dawning, a radically inclusive and accessible spirituality free from the dogma and ideology and blind belief of the past, a spirituality in which nothing and nobody – including the teachers themselves – can escape the loving light of ruthless inquiry and blinding transparency, in which nobody can claim any kind of absolute truth or privileged knowledge. Equality, deep friendship, honesty and integrity are the new gods. The disembodied, detached, disengaged, anti-personal, life-denying and often arrogant spirituality of the past, the “I know and you don’t” spirituality, the “I have it and you don’t” spirituality, the “I’m awakened and you’re not” spirituality, the “I’m no-one but you’re still someone” spirituality, is dead and dying, and this ordinary life is shining through. Separation, of any kind, cannot stand, for it is ultimately without foundation. Fundamentalism, of any kind, eventually collapses under its own ridiculous weight. And here, we finally meet, teacher and non-teacher alike, in the unconditionally loving rubble of the present moment. Here, we are all teachers, and here, nobody knows anything at all. Welcome to this new dawn, my friend.

Quote from the Facebook page of Jeff Foster
Thanks Jeff!

Magick without the lust for results

Marrying Magick and Wu Wei

I have been interested in magick from a young age. It the beginning my spirituality was much informed by the desire to get somewhere. In my psychedelic experiments I was motivated partly by the desire to escape, to find the white rabbit to lead me out of the matrix of illusion, to find the exit. In my spirituality I was trying to escape Maya, to transcend the ego, to become a better person. ‘This’ was never enough, ‘I’ was never enough. And I was always striving for something just around the corner.

During one of my travels I met with a Zen teacher who showed me that all striving and desire to get somewhere results in suffering. The bigger the distance between where you perceive yourself to be and the place you want to be, the bigger the suffering. Longing for enlightenment can be seen as as the biggest suffering.

This meeting and the following study started a process of giving up my will, giving up all striving, and learning surrender to the now. Striving to become enlightened is futile, because your ARE already that. This is it. This is in every way perfect. You cannot make yourself into something you already are. All that striving does, is reinforce the illusion that you are not already enlightenment itself. It is insanity that the wave believes it needs to do something to become the ocean.

I left the path of magick for a few years, wholly devoted to discover what it means to be living in surrender, going with the flow, and discovering the path of non-doing or spontaneous and natural action: Wu Wei. This time culminated in a period of intense introspection, Who Am I really? It finally ended in a crisis, insight, and a death and rebirth experience.

Not too long after that, my energy was going outward again, into life, into the world. Slowly I was being pulled back onto the path of magick, which definitely feels like a calling now.

Yet how do I marry my previous insight of the inherent perfection of this moment, of living Wu-Wei, the sense of a Self that does not need to go anywhere, with the seemingly apparent striving of the path of Magick? In its lowest expression (not lowest in sense of wrong) magick is about changing your life, your circumstances, which is in my view a necessary phase of learning that you have some magickal control over your life, yet not always. It can be a process of discovering your True Will and brining your life in alignment with it.

In its highest expression, Magick is about becoming more than human. It starts with integrating and harmonizing the personality (again bringing it in harmony with the True Will, making it its perfect expression), and becoming a conscious extention of the Creative Force of the Universe, yet this can easily become a new form of striving, especially since we have these ideals in magick of Ascended Masters, Secret Chiefs, of super humans: the true Adepts.

Alas, in magick I see a lot of either striving to become one one side, and illusions of grandeur on the other.

So how do I heal, that is, make whole, in myself this apparent dichotomy of two views?

What if this life is pointless, a play of light and illusion, played by consciousness itself? What if we are that consciousness, needing nothing, already perfect. Why do anything?

Well, after this long introduction I am finally coming to the point of my story, the answer that is emerging in my life at this moment, and hopefully is of a little benefit to someone out there too.

We are here to play.

When you see this world as illusion, yet o so full of life and light and possibilities, and realize that it is a gift to be here, to experience, both the pain and drama and the beauty of it. Then something new begins to emerge. In a most fundamental sense it is illusion, pure nothingness being the only truth, emptiness dancing, yet this is also everything there is, the only truth we can experience.

What begins to emerge is the desire to play, to express, to love and to enjoy, just for the sake of it. My playfulness is without purpose, without the lust for results, and every way perfect! ‘My’ life becomes an art-form, an unique expression of consciousness.

So life is no longer about what I want to achieve or become, but about what I want to express, or better, discovering what wants to express through me and devote my life and personality to that expression. And to mold life and personality to be the transparent channel of this expression. To become Art, and to die every moment to my Art.

Part of this expression is to strive for things, to have goals, hopes, dreams and fall in love. Do we dare to be foolish and throw ourselves into this? Even knowing there is no future, nothing to attain? And if we die right now, without ever achieving our grandest goals, can we die fulfilled?

In this way our Magick can become pure. It is who we are. It wells up from deep within, not because of need, but because of love and joy.

So, for now, I have resolved the issue: I do magick because I feel called to do so. Because it seeks expression through me. Because it gives me the tools express my deepest longings, and bring myself and my life in line with these longings. Yet if I die right now, and achieve nothing, everything is perfect. The longing has been expressed perfectly, this moment.

Ah play!
Just for the sake of being,
I am.

Cry for the Adepts: Is magick as a spiritual path a failure?

I´ve been following this debacle between Nick Farrel and David Griffin (look up their blogs for yourself if you are interested).
It is stuff like this that makes me doubt the validity of magick as a spiritual path.

Magick promises to make wise man (the root of the words Wizard and Magi). But I have yet to find an Adept who embodies this promise of Magick.

I find better role models of expressing Love in the Christian tradition, other Bhakti religions and even the New Age community. I find better expressions of Wisdom and knowledge of the True Self in Zen and Advaita Vedanta. What do our ‘Adepts’ express?

Don’t get me wrong. I love magick because it gives me an art form through which to express deep aspects of myself, and offers a wonderful toolbox of changing self and life (and hopefully in the process get to know my Self). But where is the role model that embodies the promise of becoming more than human?

We only have these models in the idea of the Secret Chiefs, or Ascended Master. But as long as we haven’t met those they just remain archetypes. Projections of our desire, reflections of our ideals. Show me one living example. Where do I find an Adept that expresses the Hights of Achievement in Magick?

I have to re-evaluate why I do magick. Even if it is a valid approach to spiritual growth (which I believe it can be, and should be), I do not see many practitioners who bear fruit. It seems a road full of traps and pitfalls, maybe more so than any other path.

Is magick as a spiritual path a failure? Adepts, please do prove me wrong.